Sunday, July 24, 2016

Maintaining a Great Sex Life when you're Busy as Hell

I was trying to think of a fun, light hearted post after the heavy stuff I have written lately, I thought this would be perfect. When RJ and I were dating, we didn’t always have a house or some private place to hang out. Our rumpy pumpy was quite spontaneous and basic, but it was amazing. We had lots of “adult naps” in parked cars and other public places. Now that we are parents, if we don’t consciously make time for aggressive cuddling, it doesn’t happen. Here are a few tips on how we keep our night time naughtiness amazing with two little kiddos running around the place, as well as a million things on our to do list (no pun intended).

These are things that work for me and RJ. These things might not work for you and your partner, but they are probably worth a try because our bedroom rodeos are amazing. Our age gap is an amazing factor. Some people say that RJ being 46 and me being 22 he wouldn’t be able to keep up, really it’s the other way around. He pleasures me so well I am literally a limp noodle when we are done. The other huge pro to our age gap is RJ knows what he is doing, he has had plenty of experience. Experience when it comes to testing the suspension is a good thing! I have spoken with a few of his exes, who tell me after RJ, it is all down hill. I’m glad I have him.  

First you need to make time for monkey business, especially if you have a busy life. When RJ and I weren’t busy and had a private place all to ourselves, we literally spent as much time naked in bed together as we could. It was amazing. Now that we have two little screaming peanuts running around, we can’t spend all day in bed, and we have to plan it. If we do not plan for a bit of the old in-out, it gets forgotten and we both get frustrated. We created a schedule. Every other night we plan a game of Mr. Wobbly hiding his helmet, and by plan I mean plan. We decide what type we want and what we want to do. It is not a rigid schedule, like sometimes we find ourselves in the mood two nights in a row, that doesn’t mean we have to do it a third night just because that would have been the scheduled night (we bump the schedule back a night). It’s quite flexible and works really well for us. Going from having no schedule, to having a schedule was night and day. We never needed a schedule before Heather came along. With two kids it’s a lot harder to find the time.

I know a schedule for horizontal jogging doesn’t sound that sexy, but trust me it is. On days we have scheduled it, RJ is extra loving, and kissy with me than on days we don’t. He whispers in my ear while I'm cooking dinner. We both make an effort to be in the mood and help get each other get in the mood. On days we don’t have it scheduled, it’s really nice to snuggle in bed and know that RJ knows I'm snuggling because I want to be close, not because of any other reason. Scheduling time for being intimate is amazing, very sexy, and for us, very important.

RJ and I always talk about the upcoming festivities. We talk about when we want it and when we don’t. We talk about where and how we want it. We talk about what we like best. If Monday night’s was better than Wednesday night’s. Talking about it is super important, but talking during your humping is probably just as, if not more important. Nobody can read any body’s mind. If it is good tell them it is good, if it is bad tell them to stop. Tell your partner exactly what you want. Tell them exactly what you like, and how to do it. This will make a huge difference.  

Don’t be afraid to try new things. You might love this new thing, it might blow your mind, and you will have to lie in bed, for 20 minutes before your legs regain feeling (if you have never had it this good it’s very possible and you’re missing out). Trying new things might go completely wrong, it’s ok not to like it. You will never know if you love it, or hate it until you try it. There are a few things I was cautious to try with RJ, but once I mustered up the bravery things have been better than ever.  

The biggest piece of advice I can give you, is to focus on the other person. When your goal is to make sure your partner has the most pleasurable time possible. It will be amazing for you and them. When you really tune into how your partner is feeling it will come back to you and be so much better than if you had obsessed about yourself. Making love is not a one sided. Both sides need to have fun. If it’s not fun something is wrong and you need to change it up. If it used to be fun and isn’t any more, try something new. Shower together for foreplay, buy some toys, try new positions, make a schedule if you just aren’t having enough mattress dancing. Sex is amazing and will change your life/marriage/partnership.

Thanks for reading! Keep an eye out for more posts. If you have any questions feel free to ask!

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