Monday, November 20, 2017

About Me

Sorry it took me so long to get this post finished. With birthdays, holidays and our trip to Disney World I have been very busy!

The other day I wrote all about my family which I find much easier to write about than myself. I have been through a lot for someone who is 23. I love who I am. It took a lot to get here and I wouldn’t change anything about myself or my life for any reason.

RJ is always taking pics of me. I love my long hair these days
and this picture shows it well. 
I was born and raised in Utah as a Mormon. Being raised in a Mormon household had a large impact on who I am. I was taught how to be a good mom, and a good person, but it was always conditional. When I was in elementary school there was a girl who wasn’t a Mormon and I remember telling her I couldn’t play with her as she wasn’t a Mormon too. I regret that to this day. I wish I could remember who she was so I could apologize. The conditional love was the first thing that made me really question if The Mormon Church was true. When I made a “mistake” and didn’t follow The Mormon Church’s rules exactly I was judged instantly and quickly felt like the black sheep.        
As I got older I started to see a lot of intolerance within The Mormon Church. They believe you need to try to be perfect to get into heaven. Everyone knows that is impossible. This mentality created a lot of guilt when I was a teen. I felt guilty doing normal teenage things, like kissing boys, and exploring my sexuality. I never felt good enough, even when I was doing everything, “right”. When I finally realized perfection was pointless and unrealistic I finally felt happy. I have recently realized I am the only one who can define perfection for myself. I am my own definition of perfect. What is perfect to me is most likely not perfect to you, and that is ok. Life would be boring if we all wanted to become the same.

I promise I am a good mom! Please ignore the mess in the back,
we do actually live in our home. 
I am an Atheist. It took a very long personal journey to get here. Realizing that there is nothing after this life is a hard pill to swallow. I considered myself Agnostic for a while. I wasn’t sure if there was a god or not and if there was he definitely didn’t care what type underwear I wore. After a while I became happy to know this life right now is all I have. I try to make the best of every single day. I don’t worry about the little things. I don’t seek a higher power to make decisions. I am kind to people because I want to be and it’s the right thing to do. I don’t think we need a god in the sky to bribe us with blessings for good behavior. I want to teach my children to be good decent human beings because it’s normal and what they should do. Not because it’s what a religion demands of them.

I have lived a lot of places in my life. I grew up in Utah. As a teeager I moved to Northern Virginia. Then I moved to Kennesaw, Georgia, 30 minutes outside of Atlanta. We lived in Nashville, Tennessee for a while, a different city in Georgia, and now Northern Virginia again. I feel most at home here in Northern Virginia. I think it is because I am not a Mormon anymore. I would not fit in in Utah. As much as we loved Atlanta's suburbs it is very southern, and deep in the bible belt. Virginia feels like home. I fit in here. RJ and I spent our early dating life here. There I so much to do and see, it’s a very fun place. I love it.

I am bisexual. Sexuality is a spectrum. I happen to find myself near the middle, maybe toward the same sex side a bit more. I wish I would have been able to explore my sexuality earlier in my life. I have always felt attracted to women but in a very religious environment I was afraid to express or explore my feelings. I am lucky enough to have a husband who loves me for who I am and not who he thinks I should be.

My drink of choice is gin. I love a good gin and tonic, or a fancy gin cocktail, unless it has cucumber. Cucumbers are delicious, just not in drinks. I also love good wine, particularly pinot noir, prosecco is always good too.

RJ and me at The Book of Mormon musical this weekend. 
I love to cook and bake. I have gotten much better at cooking the past few years and I have started to enjoy it more than baking. I would love to take a few cooking courses, I think I would have a lot of fun, and learn a lot.  

I love trying new foods. RJ started my food exploration. During our early dating life we spent a lot of time trying new restaurants and enjoying each others company. There are very few things I won’t try. One of the first places he took me to was a lebanese restaurant. I remember being very skeptical but I loved every bite. I also love an ethiopian restaurant he took us to when we lived in Nashville, Tennessee. Traditional ethiopian is eaten without utensils. It is served with a savory fluffy crepe, that you used to pinch up bites of food. It is delicious and a very fun experience.     

I’ve thought about getting back into art. I took a lot of art courses in high school and I enjoy it very much even if I am not that good. I’ve thought about starting at Etsy page and selling my work. It would be a good way to make extra cash and help me relax and unwind.

I love being a mother. I’ve always wanted to be one and it comes naturally. It defines me. It is part of who I am.

I hope to find more time to blog. Hopefully the holidays don’t interfere too much. I look forward to blogging about The Book of Mormon musical we saw this weekend. It was amazing and very funny.

Thanks for reading!