Monday, October 10, 2016
Why I am Attracted to Older Men
I like older men, and by like I mean love, attracted to physically, sexually, in every way possible. My husband and I have a 24 year age gap, I am 22 and he is 46. The easiest quickest reason I can give you to why I am attracted to older men is, I just am. It’s biological. I always found myself more attracted to older boys, sometimes even teachers in school, and friend’s dads. I like older men the same way some people like skinny people, curvy people, blondes, or brunettes. That’s the simplest answer I can give but want to get into the specifics a little more.
I’ve liked older boys/men for as long as I can remember. My second boyfriend was nearly two years older than me, I think I was 14 at the time. I know it sounds like nothing, but as a teen we were in separate grades and it felt like a big deal. I remember friends asking me if it was weird, but it wasn’t. It felt normal and natural.
I have always been mature for my age. Everyone my age has always seemed young and immature. I was typically a floater in school, I knew most people, and had a few close friends, but wasn’t popular by any means. I always got along better with people older than me. It wasn’t something I thought about much till later in life. As I grew up, it felt like the boys my age didn’t grow up at the same rate. They just got more stupid as they got more independent, instead of smarter and more responsible. The guys who had finally figured out what they wanted to do with their lives are/were attractive to me.
I like men who actually look like men, not boys. There are a lot of guys my age who still look like babies, facially and physically. That doesn’t turn me on. I am turned on by strong angular faces, set jawlines, good facial hair, a bit of body hair (too much hair is gross, it don’t want to comb it). Younger guys do not have these things. Sorry guys, but for some women if you don’t look manly you’re not attractive (don’t get mad, you boys say similar things whether you admit it or not).
Physical attraction aside, most older men know what they are doing with their lives. Everyone at every point of their lives has to figure things out. Older people usually have a direction and are well on their way. Even though RJ’s life was a little messy when we met, and he has much more baggage than someone my age, he has an established career and income. He already figured out what he wanted to do with his life/career, and was all the way there when we met. Younger guys do not have their stuff put together. For example, I know someone who told his fiancee he was going to become a doctor. She thought she was marrying someone who knew what they wanted, and had a direction. It’s been over 5 years. So far they have lived in both their parent’s basements, and neither of them have attended a day in college, or had any children. All they’ve done is go to the beach and a few other small road trips. I don’t know about you but personally I would be furious if I married someone who had hooked me in with the doctor line, and 5 years later he is not on his way to becoming a doctor. He is not on his way to becoming everything.
This is why I like older men.
I see some of my friends who have married younger men, and see them struggle with money. It’s not easy. I’m glad it’s one of the many things I don’t have to worry about being married to an older man.
Yes older men have baggage, they also have experience… in everything… RJ’s life experience is incredibly valuable. For example, a while back, we got a huge bill that wasn’t right. I was seriously stressing about it. RJ knew how to dispute it. He knew our rights, and they could not even prove the bill was ours by the end. I’m sure things would have gone down differently if RJ did not have the experience and knowledge about what to do.
Along with experience comes a lot of baggage. I am RJ’s fourth wife. People tried to convince me that was a bad thing (some still do). There are not a lot of statistics when it comes to fourth marriages. The few very small and limited studies show negative outcomes, however, statistics for age gap relationships tend show them to be very very successful when children and family are the focus of the relationship. RJ and I love kids, although Rose was not planned, and came at the worst time possible, she was exactly what we needed.
Getting here has not been easy, and a lot of people still do not approve of our relationship. RJ makes me very happy, if I had not met and fallen in love with him when I did, I have no idea where I would be in life. Chances are I would have gone to college and slept with my professors. I am attracted to older men and there is nothing I can do about it.
Thanks for reading!