Saturday, August 27, 2016

What Not to Say to a Mother of Young Children

Being out in public with young kids can be interesting. I am sure it is not going to get any better when I get pregnant with baby number three, but I don’t care.

Here are a list of things not to say to a mother of young children;

  1. I love when I have a pile of cuddly children.
    “Wow you’ve got your hands full!” is something I hear on a regular basis, multiple times a week. I think most the time people mean well when they say it, but it’s not something that makes me feel happy. It makes me wonder if I look frazzled and worn down when I don’t feel that way. There are definitely days I feel and look that way. Even on those days I don’t want to hear it. Just don’t say it.

  1. “Have you heard of condoms?” Only smart asses say this one. Luckily it hasn’t been said to me yet... I’m sure it will sooner than later. Yes, I know what condoms are. I chose/choose not to use them. Yes, I know that unprotected sex leads to children (insert eye roll here).

  1. Heather is pretty crazy.
    “You know how that happens, right?” Yes, I do. If you didn’t know, it can actually be really hard work, especially with other little ones running around.
  1. “Are you done having kids yet?” “No I’m not done yet, I want 4 more.” Watch their jaw drop.

  1. “I could never handle that many kids…” That’s nice, no one is asking you to. You can keep all the companies who make condoms in business.

  1. “Are they all yours?” “Yes they are all mine, but they do all have different fathers. Actually I’m not sure whose father that one is, there were so many men at the time.” Again watch their jaws drop.

  1. Heather loves to climb.
    “You should…” or “When I have kids they will never….” Parent your kids how ever you want, but don’t tell me how to raise mine. I will not tell you how to raise yours.

  1. “Wow, I’m never having kids.” Even if you don’t think I heard it, I probably did. I am a mom, I have eyes and ears on the back of my head. Are my kids really that badly behaved that you no longer need birth control? Maybe somedays…

  1. “Can you keep them quiet?” or “Why can’t she keep them quiet?” (again assuming I cannot hear) No I cannot. If my toddler decides to throw a huge tantrum in the middle of Walmart because I said no, she cannot have the Doc Mcstuffins fruit snacks because she hates fruit snacks, and I don’t want her to be a spoiled brat. Then no, I cannot keep her quiet. Toddlers are unreasonable and will pitch fits whenever, where ever they like. On most occasions Rose throwing a big tantrum makes Heather upset. There have been times where we dropped everything and left. I have stomped out holding two screaming children all the way to the parking lot. I did all that I could, and no, I could not keep them quiet.

  1. Rose loves to climb too. I love her crazy hair. 
    “Where is your mommy?” or a parent looking at my child/children trying to decide who is their parent. Every time this happens I have an eye on her/them. I am not a helicopter mom. I do not stay connected to my toddlers at the hip. They need freedom and I let them have it. It’s one thing to ask a child where his/her mommy is if he/she looks scared or frightened. It’s another thing if there is someone literally two steps from the child.

Most recently this happened  to us at Home Depot. Rose was literally two steps away. A lady walked past, looked at Rose smiled and said, “Where is your mommy?” from behind her, I said, “Uhhh… Right here…” I smiled and waved. The lady said, “Oh, ok” and kept walking. Did she assume I wasn’t Rose’s mommy because Rose wasn’t attached to my hip. Did she assume I wasn’t her mommy because I was already holding Heather? Or did she just not see me. Either way it was irritating, but nowhere near as irritating as helicopter parents at the park (insert giant eyeroll here, I might do a whole blog post on helicopter parenting soon).

Please, if you do not have anything nice to say to a mom of more than one kid don’t say anything at all. If you can’t think of anything nice to say, read my next blog post about what you should say to a mother of young children.

Thanks for reading!

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